I’ve been more than a little bit frustrated and angry recently. Because I just couldn’t see ANY progress. and it’s not because I was putting on muscle weight or anything positive like that.
i would say that my exercise wasn’t actually the best but I was consuming so much less than I used to, both in terms of portions and choices but nope. no weight lost no nothing than I already had lost before deciding to do it the healthier way.
and I wasn’t eating enough and so I easily had dizzy spells and stuff.
then last week or 2 weeks ago I can’t exactly remember I just snapped. like f this I don’t care anymore. and I ate and I ate and I ate.
I didn’t go on a massive binge like eat an entire tub of ice-cream that sort of thing. but I just let myself eat anything I want anything I felt like. sometimes I even ate out of spite which was actually quite funny. Like “take that body! it’s your fault for not showing results!” erm yup.
It’s been sort of liberating actually. I’ve had ice-cream, roti prata (indian dish), chocolate cookies, cheese cake etc etc. Most of these I haven’t eaten a bite for MONTHS, much less ordered for myself. there are some habits I still can’t kick like deep fried food. I don’t think I can ever eat fish and chips again or order a pack of fries for myself.
but right now the frustration and anger’s sort of eased out esp since it’s the hols. I sort of exercised today at the gym and while it was nothing spectacular it’s a start. I’m going out tonight so tonight’s sort of the last night for a while that I will be indulging. esp since my dress has gotten tighter. :/
I’m going on an expedition soon so there’ll be a lot of exercise both before and during and the trip plus I hope to find my positive outlook again.
I might even change the tumblr name and design a bit tonight or tomorrow. :)
First goal : 48.0kg!!